Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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