She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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