It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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