I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
