Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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