Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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