Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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