and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
