Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
