that's an acceptable place to lick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
