He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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