what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
