We need to rekindle our bromance
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
