wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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