I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
