at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
