Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
