I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
