you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
and she was petting her beer can
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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