I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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