You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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