you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
