im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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