a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
