There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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