i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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