So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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