We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
