i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
