Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
