I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
