I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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