she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
