I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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