I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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