it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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