One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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