break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
