I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
