erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
