let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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