i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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