I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
