Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
