Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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