I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
