I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize