We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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