Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
