So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize