He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
