i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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