Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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