:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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