It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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