what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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