And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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