i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
