know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
