I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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