Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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