i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We are two peas in an std pod
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
