Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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