I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
All I want is dick and wine.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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