I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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