You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
